Archive for January, 2013

Achilles’ heel

We all have histories that don’t want to be excavated. They’re like the soft spot of your toned body, the Achilles’ heel, which if was poked with a dullest knife your body would all start to fall apart.

Think of it as a wound you had when you were an infant. Your body was so soft so fragile and it was damaged at that one little spot and you were so defenseless to stop it from happening. Soon it would heal, and turn in to an ugly scar you don’t want no one to look at. So you cover it under you newly grow skin, and under several layers of fabric. But that wasn’t enough. It still stays, right there as the most vulnerable spot on your body whom you should not forget to protect.

Yet years after years, without anybody discovering or touching it, you soon grew to be oblivious to the protection duty you had over your weakness, which makes perfect sense. Who would ever care about the infant wound that was overgrown by skins and bones. And you’re even stronger now, more comfortable in your own skin; you can protect yourself as a whole so why bother that small thing that you don’t even remember it exists?

But there will come a day when someone eventually put a finger on it. All they have to do is just saying it, addressing the scar that in fact is still a healing wound. And that’ll do. You’ll fall down to your feet and cry like a baby, just like the first time that knife entered your skin. You’ll see yourself living all that pain again and it’s even more hurtful because you realize no matter how hard you tried to fix it you still couldn’t. It will still be there like a phantom knife that never rests from sliding in and out of your skin. No matter how strong you are or how tough you’d grown.

It’s true to say there are points in life you’d need a shoulder to cry on and a spreading arm welcoming you home.

I need it. But there’s none for me.

If they’re all gonna leave then what’s the point anyway?

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Tôi tin vào Thượng đế và tin rằng mọi con người đều có thể thương yêu và đều có thể được thương yêu. Ở mọi nơi. Tình yêu và tình thương, sự lựa chọn lứa đôi và niềm hạnh phúc là thứ phi đảng phái. Phi tín ngưỡng, phi giới tính. Ai cũng có quyền yêu. Mọi con người ở tuổi trưởng thành đều có quyền tự do lựa chọn bạn đời. Người mà họ có thể yêu, có thể chung sống, có thể ôm và có thể hôn, người mà họ có thể sẻ chia niềm vui và nỗi sầu muộn. Hoặc, có thể sà vào lòng nhau, khi sợ hãi, mệt mỏi, lúc yếu đuối. Ai cũng có thể yếu đuối và chính điều đó khiến chúng ta cứng cỏi. Và không thể tước đoạt khỏi bất cứ ai, quyền được nhận sự trợ giúp, ủng hộ, quyền được xin và nhận tình thương yêu mỗi khi họ yếu đuối. Để làm được điều này, cần một người bạn đời dám công khai thừa nhận mình, cần một tình thương mang lại nghị lực.

— Szetey Gábor

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Last night I thought I kissed
the loneliness from out your belly button.
I thought I did, but later you sat up,
all bones and restless hands, and told me
there is a knot in your body that I cannot undo.

I never know what to say to these things.
“It’s okay.” “Come back to bed.”
“Please don’t go away again.”

Sometimes you are gone for days at a time
and it is all I can do not to call the police,
file a missing person’s report, even though
you are right there, still sleeping next to me
in bed. But your eyes are like an empty house
in winter: lights left on to scare away intruders.

Except in this case I am the intruder and you
are already locked up so tight that no one
could possibly jimmy their way in.

Last night I thought I gave you a reason
not to be so sad when I held your body like
a high note and we both trembled from the effort.

Some people, though, are sad against all reason,
all sensibility, all love. I know better now.
I know what to say to the things you admit to me
in the dark, all bones and restless hands.

“It’s okay.” “You can stay in bed.”
“Please come back to me again.”

– Alias: Lenore (http://five–a–day.tumblr.com)

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